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Uptight

I was recently in DC and I noticed that the men there are a bit odd when it comes to fashion.  Most of the things that the men wear could be categorized as dull save their shoes.  They have the most aggressive shoes I have ever seen on men.  Most of the men had pretty dull suits in black, grey black and blue-ish black with white or dull striped shirts with uneventful ties…and phallic-like shoes.  No kidding.  There seems to be this rebellion in shoes…gone are the wing-tip oxfords, gone are the lace up oxfords for they have been replaced by  tragically long (almost) pointed penis shaped slip-on shoes…and this is a thing I have not seen since the mid 2000’s when men were dressed as elves from the ankle down.  Every time I passed a future Washington suit I looked down to his shoes only to be appalled again at the erotic shoe the suit had his feet in.  (I did see one guy in a brown plaid tight legged shrunken suit with brown wingtips (he had to be a republican) having a mental conversation with himself or perhaps he was trying to take his mind off his pants rubbing his hind end.)